Thoughts&: words cannot explain how i feel, but i will try

Hi guys! its been a while since i last update. anyway, I finally got baptized!!! It was really amazing. Im really thankful and blessed to have such a great and awesome God!!! Hallelujah! thank you the presents as well! really appreciate it. *hearts* Okay, so lets skip to the part 20 minutes before i get baptized. My heart was racing, maybe about 180km/h? I was really excited and happy! like a child. So, i shared my story. I sat on the stage, trying to calm my nerves. I tried looking up to people, i did but only for a second. lol. My vision was blurry due to my contacts. I squinted my eyes a little, my voice chocked, because i was nervous! oh well, getting people into the mood! "Hi everyone, I am Amanda. I am currently studying for my first year degree in construction management and I am the eldest daughter in the family. Before getting baptized, I want to share a bit of my background with you. I kinda grew up in a culture where I am always trying to live up to the high expectations of others. I am always expected to achieve well and do well in many dimensions. I know, intelligence doesnt really show in me. But from all these expectations and standards that people placed in me, i felt that i have to achieve those in order not to disappoint them. Thus, I forgot my own goals and values. All these years i tried so hard to please others, to make them happy. I was actually struggling. From all these struggles, i felt alone inside. Even though I had a wonderful family and a bunch of amazing friends, I still think that something was missing inside of me. So i caught myself up in a relationship close to 3 years. Those 2 long years, I didn't felt that alone anymore. But i felt controlled and trapped. But thank God there were friends in my college that took me to Christian fellowship and prayed for me throughout even though I wasnt a christian back then. Eventually, I experienced the lowest point of my life. The relationship came tumbling down, a good friend of mine got into in a car crash and went to heaven, and the most vital point of my life, without good results from college, I couldn't even get to come to Melbourne for further studies. On Christmas day, I was invited to church. I was so weak I couldn't even stand up. Until I felt someone knock on my heart, pull me up from my chair, and lifted all my sorrows. Without Jesus, I cant imagine where I would be now. Suffocating to reach the expectations of others, carrying the heavy weights to please someone or to make them happy. Pulled down by fears, and chained down by worries, I would be a prisoner to my own. Without Him, I don't think that I would actually understand the full meaning of Love. Without Christ I could never imagine myself living in this position, where I could experience the wonders of Christ. It would be so easy to listen to the mocking cries of the Enemy,that I am not good enough and never will be, not accepted, not loved, never wanted. Jesus is my light that keeps me burning. He is the light the never goes off. In His love, I am made whole. In God I trust when all else falls. When darkness comes and tries to pull me back to the old ways, I know that im dead to sin and alive to God in Jesus Christ. Today, as i take a leap of faith to get baptized and to be complete in Jesus, i have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Some said i gave a really good testimony! i am really glad! lets proceed to my baptism, I recited the verse "i have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me". later on, i was asked with 3 question. Do i love Jesus christ? Yes Will i follow Jesus Christ? Yes( but it was too soft) so i said yep In the name of Jesus Christ i baptized you.... and i took the plunge!!! thank God i knew i to swim. the water didnt get into my nose. What an amazing feeling. My new life begins. Forever with Jesus! <3 I was rushed to change into my dry clothes. freezing cold though. So i decided to change only my jeans. And when i came out, everyone stood up and cheer!! Overwhelming glory from heaven!!!!