familiar yet so hard

Few hours ago, I went through another spiritual attack. which is one matter that is so familiar yet so hard for me. Familiar, because i encountered these hardships hundreds of times already. Hard, because i know giving in is not an option. Yet we are so tempted to surrender to Satan. and let him cover us with the darkness. I asked God two question. What do you want me to do? and where do You want me to go? why are all of my friends? why am i so alone? I asked these four questions because I have been serving/ going to both churches for some time now. It really drained me. Not only spiritually, emotionally and spiritually as well. NO one ever said we couldnt go to more than one church. But I am already a perfect outcome to look at (if you are thinking about that) and to really commit into one church is hard enough. Its really hard. it takes up space, time, emotional, energy. Everything we do needs energy. To really wait for God's answer and timing requires tonnes of patience and time. But i know, God's timing is always perfect, but its not always the time that we would like. As we all know, good things comes to those who wait. In answer to my question, I am still waiting for it. As usual, hardly anyone flips their calender (including me). So i flipped to 10th of June 2012. This quote spoke to me in answer to my 3rd question. Jesus is your Friend. He walks beside you and knows your heart. Jesus is your Friend and knows how you feel. He shares your joy and your pain. Jesus is your Friend and freely gives you His love. -Ray Lessin. Well, as i said. all in God's timing. What i have learn during the past few weeks, God doesnt define you by your weakness. He looks for one who serves and loves Him wholeheartedly! It is also through events we live that God reveals Himself. So we could know more about God. How he actually is, how He acts etc. Lets close in prayer, I pray that God speaks to everyone of you tonight and the days to come! Lord, we know that your timing is always perfect and we put our trust in You Lord. Forgive our insecurities and deceiving thoughts and help us to grow with You Lord. In Jesus most beautiful name, Amen. In His love, Amanda